Samizdat Chronicles: For the Freedom Loving Leftist
But you're not, and you know it. You can't stomach anything remotely right of center. Conservatives live in their own little world, and what a funny place it is. Gay marriage makes God send hurricanes over places. Barack Obama somehow manages to be a communist, a Nazi, a Muslim and a liberal. All at once. A remarkable feat. And he's using these formidable powers to intentionally try to destroy America, first by taking everybody's guns away. For eight years now, Obama has been after everybody's guns. Just like Bill Clinton was in his eight years in office. Nobody in America has a gun anymore, except the criminals. What a shame. "Mission accomplished," Obama is no doubt saying to himself. And while he's doing all of this, he doesn't even have an American birth certificate. The nerve!
Whatever is happening in conservative land, it isn't what conservatives themselves always say they want to have happen. Even when firmly in power with clear parliamentary majorities (think recent Canadian and British Tory governments) or in firm hold of the presidency with a fairly compliant congress (think George W. Bush in his first term especially), we never seem to see government get smaller, people turn back to God, tradition and religion make a substantial come-back or anything like that. Gay marriage is legal, straight marriage rates decline annually. Social conservatism has tanked big time.
But let's be honest here, that was never what conservatism was really about. What matters is that corporations pay less taxes, a financialized and relatively union free business and political climate prevails, and western troops have been on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan fighting "terrorism" (I guess this is what the word is these days for not buying and selling oil on the global market in U.S dollars - that's political correctness for you) , all the while more and more of these terrorists end up in our own countries.
Conservatism is a sham. That should be clear enough by now. The political and ideological equivalent of selling Amway.
And nothing else even remotely right wing is even remotely useful. Libertarianism seems like a good Mad Max movie, but you wouldn't want to actually live it. Neither would the corporate establishment, or else the libertarian party might actually hold an elected office somewhere. Maybe they do, but I'm not aware of it. And perhaps that's just as well. You read about what capitalism was like in the 19th century, and aren't eager to give it a go yourself. Typical statist.
So perhaps it should be less perplexing now that social and political discourse is increasingly dominated by the sort of people who believe there are either sixty five genders or none at all, that being white is in of itself a form of oppression or that you are a terrible transphobic cishet male for not wanting to have sex with a "woman" who has a penis. Such a Nazi. All the while, the most barbaric practices of ISIS and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia get a free pass, and their critics are dismissed as Islamophobic. And you're a Nazi for not wanting that in your country.
Well, the Jihadists might have a point. Something tells me that if the day ever comes when Great Britain or the United States ever do become part of the Caliphate, it will be a whole different ball game for the slut-walk loving, anti fat-shaming crowd. One look at them, and the burqa and the niqab start to look like good ideas. Pretty safe bet the local Imam won't be too impressed with their unveiled visages, and we can all safely guess what happens next. I almost wonder what it is the "alt-right" wouldn't like about this?
But you know damn well what it is you don't like about it, and you don't relish the thought of either the Islamists or the neo-fascists ever getting their hands on any kind of real power. Because you may not agree with what the triggly-puffs of this world have to say, but you will defend their right to not get doxxed or harassed off the internet (at the very least) for saying it. But you just can't help but wonder why the social justice crowd is so damn unwilling to return the favor, and you wonder at times if they, the Islamists and the Alt-rightists might not make a pretty good threesome. Whatever disagreements they may have, you're not having the right to free speech, or the right to marry who you want, or at least the right to your own opinion on who's hot enough to hook up with is one thing they all seem to agree on.
So this is why you're a freedom loving leftist. No, it's not a contradiction in terms. You know you can't be a pure libertarian either - freedom is a pretty meaningless concept if you're begging in the streets or slaving away in a sweatshop for want of a full stomach. You never bought conservatism's line of crap, but you're done with a "left" that's so damned obsessed with identity politics that "relations of production" are to them another lifestyle choice requiring you to shut up and check your privilege. What the hell kind of "left" does that anyway? Sure the hell not the kind that got women and blacks the right to vote, or that got us the weekend, workplace health and safety and environmental protection.
One wonders if today's "social justice" crowd aren't the real conservatives of today - hard to imagine the New Deal or the 1964 civil rights act being carried at the behest of a movement that would insist that FDR or LBJ not have on opinion on social justice issues because they're white males. I don't know exactly what a "safe space" is, but that phrase sure the hell doesn't sound like what civil rights workers in the Jim Crow era or striking workers during the gilded age had the luxury of existing in. Are the Republican strategists now looking at Chanty Binx or the flakier fringes of Black Lives Matter and wondering why they didn't come up with that?
Being leftist is all about speaking up and saying what needs to be said. Being leftist is about solidarity and an injury to one being an injury to all. There's no room for cups full of white male tears in a world being ground to dust under corporate globalization's iron heel. We don't have time to waste on abstract social constructs like "privilege" and "patriarchy" when very real oppression is a measurable political and economic reality for too many people in the real world, including the poor of every race or gender in our own back yards. And like the original Samizdat that called the Soviet bloc out on its regressive bullshit back in the 1970s and 80s, calling out today's regressive left - and right - for failing to live up to the values of the enlightenment is going to be what Samizdat Chronicles will be all about.